Understanding Recovery From Sexual Abuse (Part 6)

Jan Broberg:
So I want to talk a little bit today about CPTSD, or complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I'm going to read a little bit from somebody that I have permission to talk about their story and she was eventually diagnosed with CPTSD. And I want to just read this bit that she sent to me. Should of course anyone can develop post-traumatic stress disorder from a car accident or to being a survivor of a natural disaster. The complex PTSD can only develop when there is significant and consistent trauma to an individual. One of the most prevalent causes is childhood sexual abuse that is long term and the victim receives no intervention to help end their traumatic situation. The effects of continuous sexual abuse are so devastating that survivors carry them throughout their lives. And without help or acknowledgement, complex PTSD often develops. Symptoms include violent flashbacks, hypervigilance, avoiding places that remind you of abuse, inability to regulate emotions, extremely low self-esteem, isolation, and lack of relationships. So... As I know this individual, and I asked her if she could share what it was like to finally get diagnosed with CPTSD. It was very difficult for her. And by getting diagnosed with CPTSD, she was able to get some resources, but she also had to apply for Social Security income. and that also was a really long process. She suffered a traumatic brain injury from a stalker and At least I think, well, she's had several long-term traumatic experiences, starting with physical and sexual abuse as a child. And then gang rape that happened to her in college and a stalker. She just prolonged and never had help. No one believed her. She was too afraid to tell, of course, when she was a kid being beaten by her father who killed himself in front of her. um the amount of trauma that this person has suffered is extraordinary. She's extraordinary that she's still with us on the planet and um but she did tell me that being diagnosed um with CPTSD and I'm again reading from what she wrote that I that she said I could share is during the time of being diagnosed with CPTSD I had to talk to at least eight different doctors, repeating my trauma over and over again. The story of my trauma over and over again. This was almost worse than being questioned by the police. They grilled me in every detail of my experience, scrutinizing everything I said for any inconsistencies they could find that could be pointed out and used against me. so my claim could be denied. I had plenty of physical evidence, but since this claim was a mental health issue, what's known as an invisible disability, it is diagnosed differently. Trauma-informed interviews would certainly help eliminate re-traumatizing a survivor who is already suffering under the weight of their pain story. And we can talk about a lot of different aspects about this, I think what I wanted to point out is that the need for trauma informed interviewing practices, whether that's by the police, whether that is by doctors, whether it's by clinicians, so that you can be diagnosed with CPTSD has to be a requirement. because this person had already suffered years of physical and sexual abuse. Then she goes off to higher education and has a scholarship in computer science, is gang raped, and that's where she suffered the traumatic brain injury. It was there. Suffers a traumatic brain injury that takes away the part of her memory. This was on her 21st birthday that this happened. And it takes away the part of her brain that knows her schooling in computer science. And she all of a sudden, not only has all of this for years and years, this complex amount of trauma, rape, assault, physical violence, her father killing himself in front of her, telling her it was her fault, so emotional violence. But this person now, has someone interviewing her and asking her to tell her story over and over and over again. And this person is re-traumatized every time she has to tell the story. And if she leaves out one detail, then they're going to say she's lying. And then this stalker, she actually moved many times trying to get away from this person that was stalking her who eventually found her. raped her and caused another injury, a physical injury with a knife that has affected her voice, her vocal cords to this day. And she's had to go to court. They finally caught the stalker, not all these other people who had already caused tremendous amounts of trauma in her life, but they caught the stalker who's in prison, but she had to make a victim impact statement and to try and make sure that person was left in incarcerated because she feared for her life, which she should. And finally getting diagnosed, finally after being denied, after being denied that diagnosis of CPTSD the first time. And maybe a second time, I remember her saying that the questions that you're asked and how you have to repeat to multiple people, doctors, the police, therapists, people who can then say and confirm, you know, from all these different angles, that yes, this woman is suffering from complex. post-traumatic stress disorder, she needs resources, was so excruciating and lengthy in getting to that diagnosis. that it almost seemed like maybe just trying to deal with the trauma on her own was better. But of course she had suicide ideation. She has dealt with extreme isolation with very, very low self-esteem. And all of the other things that I read have been a part of her daily. life and now without a certain part of her brain she had to completely change from what she had hoped to be a career to a completely different way of life in her work life and she is only allowed to make you know a certain amount of money because if she makes more than that then it will mess she had to apply for. She said the number of questions on that, let me see here. Let's see how many questions were there. It was some ridiculous number of questions. Over 500. Oh, five, here it is. She said, that she was denied twice, once from the state and through DSAH which is some department on health services. And then she was also denied for the social security income. And they use a test called the MMPI, Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, something. That's the name of the test, MMPI. They use it as a diagnostic tool. And it's 587 questions. and one of the most triggering tests I have ever taken. I remember it taking several hours for me to complete the test because I kept breaking down. It was so triggering. You know, she is one of the kindest people that I've ever met, and as a fellow survivor, I have such great empathy for what she went through. I can't even imagine having to take these sorts of tests more than once and being denied. It must feel like such a slap in the face, like that people don't believe you. And yet at the time her stalker had been caught and was in jail and you could see the evidence all over her body from the physical violence. that invisible violence of sexual violence is so. destructive and so real and yet no one can see it and so because they can't see it it's always as if you're guilty until proven innocent like it didn't really happen or really wasn't that bad or you can send it or you wanted it. It's just so upsetting to me that this person who gets less than $1,000 a month from social security income and tries to supplement her income to the extent she's allowed, which isn't very much, or it will start to take away that social security income is just like a double-edged sword. How do you get ahead and make yourself better and find new skills and progress in your life if you're not going to get the help of this social security income because you made more than I don't know $37 or something ridiculous. So it really has made me think about how people are trapped in that vicious cycle that people are like well why don't they just go get a job or you know people just You know, these things, you know, you just got to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep going. And I just, I just have. Too many stories that I have heard from other people, too many people in my life that I love, that I know, who are telling the truth, but have no way to get the help that they need to get the resources in place to better themselves and their life in their current situation with complex PTSD, even diagnosed, even having this. bit of social security income, she is still limited on how much she can improve her life because at a very short stage, they will start to deduct that income that she has. That needs to stay in place until she is completely ready to take on a new career and has a job in place and has had enough of the therapeutic things that are available to people with complex PTSD. made available to her on an ongoing basis. Otherwise, how can you possibly think that this person is going to be ready to take on the world and to do better when you are trapped between two worlds? I just think it's so sad and it makes me upset. And I guess what I'm hoping is that eventually as we raise awareness about these sorts of things that actually are diagnosable and that people actually have, that we will find that people are, the realization of people with means who can help fund someone's education without that person being penalized for trying to better themselves will be realized. That whether it's the Jan Broberg Foundation, or it's another foundation or a group of concerned private citizens who can come together to say how do we help sexual assault survivors? How do we help people whose violence is not seen? Whose lives have been shattered? And the The way to help them is not necessarily any of the traditional methods that we've already decided you have to be this sick or this worthy to receive help. How do we actually get people into the programs and into places that can help them? with not only their healing in the sense of being able to survive one more day, but to actually thrive to become. people who are contributing in the workforce, in telling their stories, to help show other people that it's possible. We just have so much to do. And I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm sitting on my soapbox, but this is really truly what happens to childhood survivors of sexual assault, violence, and abuse. It is real. and the outcomes are real and until we have trauma informed interviewers, people who can assess and actually make the recommendations to say yes this person actually has this and they need resources and we need to help them by getting their social security income earlier than where it would be normally. We have to also provide ways for them to improve their lives without being penalized. It just floors me that this is how many questions a person has to answer over and over and over again and tell people their story over and over and over again, causing further trauma and more triggering. I just want changes to happen. And I'm... really open to any sorts of suggestions or ideas that anyone listening or watching this public service announcement might have. What do we do? There are millions of people in this situation. How can we help? We're a generous, wealthy society. We need to help. our people that have been through this here in the United States and around the world find true answers, get true help so that it actually turns the corner to a more healthy world not only for ourselves but for the people around us, for the next generation. I guess that's my prayer today. as it's getting a little bit cold and for some reason rainy. And as I think about there's so many needs out there, but this is a primary one. I really hope that we can figure it out together. Thanks for listening. See you on the other side of trauma.